Mary was a senior employee in the company. She has worked in this company longer than anyone else and has put in a lot of effort in her work, sometimes to the extent of going beyond the call of her duties. The employer, Alice, appreciates her hard work and treats her very well.
Recently, a new employee, Lily, joined the company and being new to the company, Alice paid extra attention to her, making sure she was adapting well. Alice also assigned Mary to be Lily’s mentor because she trusted Mary. Furthermore, Mary was the most senior and experienced person in the company to guide Lily.
Initially, Mary was delighted to have someone to share some of her workload and gladly showed Lily the ropes. However, after a while, Mary noticed that Alice showered praises on Lily extravagantly, even more than she ever did on Mary. Mary felt that she was not getting enough recognition for her contribution to the company and was convinced that Alice was biased. She was also anxious that the stability of her job may be threatened by Lily’s presence.
Mary started to find fault with Lily. Being someone who was very particular about the minute details, she would rebuke Lily at the slightest mistake. Lily would also be reprimanded by Mary, should she not be able to meet the strict requirements and high standards of her mentor. Lily felt indignant and exasperated because she was still adapting to the new environment, yet she was not getting all the encouragement and understanding needed from Mary. Lily attempted to reason with Mary but to no avail as Mary would claim seniority and Lily did not want to offend her mentor. Lily also did not dare to approach Alice to tell her about this issue because she did not want to be seen as incapable and causing trouble to arise so soon after joining the company.
Alice has heard about incidents between these two employees. What should Lily do in this situation? How should Alice approach the issue?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Thanks, Grace, for presenting this conflict so clearly and concisely. All the players are well described as is the situation. You also pose the required questions. And oh what a common problem!
ReplyDeleteI look forward to seeing responses from your blogging group members.
For Lily, since you can neither confront Alice nor tell your boss the truth, you have not much option left.You can request Alice to change you to another department and avoid direct conflict with Mary. However, the problem lies with Mary while Lily was the most innocent person. I think that Mary should try to be fair to Lily and treat her nicely. For Alice, she should try to resolve this conflict by assigning another mentor to Lily or sending her to another department.
ReplyDeleteHey Grace,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Yang Yie that Lily is the most innocent party of all. This is indeed a very common problem, and I suppose all of us would very possibly be in a situation like that of Lily's when we enter the workforce very soon. Therefore,it is good to think how should Lily handle this situation. If Lily could empathise with Mary, and understand the reason behind her behaviour, she would definitely be less affected by Mary's attitude. This is definitely not a solution but just a way to increase her endurance. Lily should continue to reason with Mary and stay firm with her point, while conveying the message that she is there to do her job well and not to challenge her. Developing a friendship would do a lot of good to their working relationship.
Alice should not intervene till it calls for it. She should not hold back her compliments to either parties too. She should stay impartial and not take any sides, this would tell Mary that she do not favour Lily nor does she condone Mary's attitude.
Just my two cents worth...
Oh my goodness! I didn't realize that I only commented on 2 posts so far! Oops, hope Mr. Blackstone didn't notice.
ReplyDeleteAnyway Grace, well articulated post. I always enjoy editing your posts because they're rather well written!
The reason why Alice showers so much praises to Lily is probably because Alice was trying to give someone fresh out of school some positive reinforcement. There is nothing wrong for Alice to do so, and the conflict should not be limiting her from doing so. Of course, the praises and attention must decline eventually, when Lily becomes more experienced.
In addition, I don’t seem to understand why Mary is feeling this way when all this while Alice “appreciates her and treats her well”. Mary is an experienced, loyal and dedicated employee who “goes beyond the call of duty”. She is an asset to the company, and as such her position will be threatened by Lily’s presence.
Here’s what I suggest Alice could do.
She could take the proactive approach in understanding the problem from many perspectives. Firstly, she could ask other employees about it. She could also officially observe Lily for a day, with Mary still being Lily’s mentor. At the end of the day, Alice still has to confront the two of them, in separate occasions, and as a group. She will be the mediator for Mary and Lily to trash out their problem and hopefully solve their conflict. Although a lot of Alice’s time will be spent tackling the conflict, interpersonal conflict within the workplace only undermines productivity, and hence should be solved before it gets worse.
On the other hand, this is what Lily could have done.
She should understand that there are roughly two styles to mentorship: one which guides and praises you so that you will be motivated to continue despite the hiccups, or the other one which finds fault in everything you do so that you will buck up, be more competent, and be tougher when faced with other problems. A sudden change in mentorship style either means that you are getting better at your job, or that the mentor has something against you.
In order to ascertain what is going on in Mary’s mind, Lily can first approach other colleagues who were once under the guidance of Mary, if any. In addition, she has to learn to be more competent at her work, limiting faults for Mary to find. Lily should also be more observant in noticing the trigger to Mary’s attitude. Lily might get a hint when she becomes more competent, with Alice praising her, while Mary criticizing her. Ultimately, Lily still has to bring this matter to Alice. This is because confronting Mary alone will result in Mary denying the claim and further exacerbating the conflict.
Hopefully Lily is fine now. Are you any of these characters? =) I’m guessing Lily!
Thank you all for the suggestions! I think I have a much better idea on what to do if I were to be in any of their situations.
ReplyDeleteChee Kiang, you mentioned that you didn't understand why Mary was feeling insecure about keeping her job. Yup, I agree that she was certainly an asset to the company but assuming that she was a more senior employee, her pay would also be proportionately higher. Mary might have felt that her higher salary would become a consideration to Alice once the newer employees were able to take on similar duties. I think I am able to understand where each of them was coming from and the problem gets even tackier when the difference in pay comes into the picture.
However, I certainly hope my mentor/employer wouldn't be the second type which Chee Kiang mentioned, who "finds fault in everything you do so that you will buck up, be more competent, and be tougher when faced with other problems". haha...I would prefer appropriate compliments and encouragements, to help me ease into the job as a new employee and to motivate me to stay on when I become more senior in company.:)
I think Mary had a defense mechanism when she felt that her job was being threatened, which is why she found fault with everything Lily did. Lily is indeed the most innocent party in this situation but I don’t think she would be seen as incapable if she spoke to Alice about the situation. She could try to talk to Alice and also add in the point of why she thinks Mary is acting in such a way. She could also talk to Mary and let her understand that they are to work together and that she regards her as a mentor and not trying to steal her job in any way.
ReplyDelete